An Extended Metaphor, or Scott Walker is a Douchebag

This is an extended metaphor, so bear with me. I admit fully that the situation I'm about to present to you will take a little stretching of your imagination, but we'll get there in the end, I promise. I'll take you down to Mordor and then right back to the Shire. So keep that in mind when examining this hypothetical, okay?

So let's say that you're in elementary school. Let's say that you're in fifth grade, the highest of the high, the mightiest of the mighty at that young age. Let's say, too, that there are just a ton of kids in your school, a couple hundred in each grade. There's a huge playground, with tons to do; there's four square, there's a baseball diamond, a soccer field, a football field, hell even a separate kickball diamond. There's a playground and a swing set and hey even a rugby pitch, a teeter totter and some monkey bars. Maybe even multiples of each. It's a fantasy, let's go with it.

Read more after the jump.

National Enormity, Actually Not About Fat People

I didn't post yesterday because I was traveling (I don't have an excuse for Monday other than bad memory).

I drove from Minnesota to Florida yesterday, a trip that took about 21 hours. Afterward I determined that I had traveled to or through 20 states in my life. A decent number for a person who has only lived in three.

It was about 70 degrees in Florida today, and I spent much of a day in early March laying on the beach, reading my Kindle next to a pool. For a kid who grew up used to seven foot piles of snow on his front lawn, this is kind of like a Big Deal. Capital letters intentional.

See what that got me thinking about after the jump.

Government Intrusion: Its Necessary Dichotomy

I was watching the local news on television the other night, and heard two consecutive news stories that had me taking a deeper look into personal politics.

The first news story was about the Republicans and their most recent attempt at overturning the Health Care Reform legislation (Please, for the love of God, don't refer to it as ObamaCare because the only thing that means is that you're either a buzzword-spouting sycophant or an intentionally misleading malcontent). It noted how the most common objection by politicians regarding the health care bill is that, by allowing the government to take a greater stake in how health care is paid for, our level of quality health care will decrease and, ultimately, the cost of our health care will rise.

Hit the break for more.

The Blog Post To Restore Sanity

My friend Arden is much smarter than I am.

At this point I would like to cut to a scene of all the people who know me personally with shocked expressions on their faces, looking at each other and mouthing "Did he really just say that?"

See, I'm very smart. And, usually, I think I'm even smarter than I actually am. So for me to admit someone might be even close to as intelligent as I am is a pretty big thing. For me to outright say they're smarter is rare. And for me to state that they're "much smarter," is like seeing a complete lunar eclipse.

See why I'm bringing this up after the jump.

Sexism, Racism and Individualism

People-- normal people, people I engage in everyday conversation-- doubt the validity of statistics far more now than I can remember happening at any point in my life. Some of this may simply be the nature of the conversations I'm having now, but I think some of it is the nature of the times. With the Internet, it's possible to find studies finding contradictory facts on anything, and the way that people design their statistical surveys can be arranged specifically to find an expected outcome.

Check more after the jump.

Government Scope and Manifest Destiny

The United States is a big country.

In point of fact, it is the third largest country in the world. When compared with the two countries larger than it, Russia and Canada, America has over twice the amount of people as the former, and nearly ten times the amount of the latter, packed into a smaller area.

That's not to say there is a problem with overpopulation in America. It could be argued, of course, but it's not near the issue as it is in, say, China with its 1.3 billion, or India with its 1.1 billion. The problem is with governing a body of land so large, with the number of people so dense.

The American Homosexual Regression

On a sunny day in San Francisco, California, a group of friends gathered in a small kitchen as two men, an interracial couple, exchanged vows and wedding rings, pledging their lives to each other. Despite the fact the ceremony was broadcast on television, there was no outrage from the religious public. There were no public protests. In fact, it seemed as though very few people cared beyond the fact they thought it was nice to see two people in love.

The year was 1994.

Congress? We don't want no Congress! We don't need no stinkin' Congress!

The title of this blog post is not true.

Sometimes it just feels like it.

It becomes really disheartening to watch this group of publicly elected officials fumble and stammer their way through getting absolutely nothing done. When you see things like that, it's enough to make you want to throw your hands up on the air and say, "Can we just tear this whole damn thing down and start over with something else? Please."

(Maybe British Parliament? It's easily one of the top 10 most entertaining things on TV. They're smarmy and sarcastic, condescending and comfortable. They all get behind the people asking the questions with soccer gang-like cheers of assent and, most importantly, they actually ask pertinent questions and give pertinent answers. It's like watching a politically-themed music video for LCD Soundsystem's "Losing My Edge".)